When sex drives, where does it go?

I wrote the following poem on September 10, 2018, and locate it as a turning point in my understanding of who I am:

philosophy of body:
sex-gender-sexuality:
psychoanalysis:
projection of trauma and intellectualization as career choice:
despair turned research project:
where is my body:
what does sex do to my mind:
what the fuck is fuck:
fucking holey person:
I’ll tell you the hole story:
disturb me more than I disturb myself:
the animals died in my dreams:
give me something to avoid me with:
requesting a lobotomy:
when sex drives where does it go:
crashed…